dogs on trucks blog

10-30-07 Dogs on Trucks mailbag

Dear Dogs on Trucks Jr. Sama,

Hello. I hope you are genki and well. I have excellent news to report: The settlement is expecting!

Sumiko and Yumiko are due on 07-19-2032, and all signs shown so far indicate that they will become perfectly healthy Ninja calligraphers, just like their parents.

Healers have warned me of the risk of premature birth due to the extremely curious and adventurous nature they are likely to have as a result of their genetics. The healers have also warned me to keep quiet about their predicted birthday, since it might give them extra cause to rebel against the confines of the womb, which, according to my already outspoken daughters, is “standin’ in the way of the Great Whore getting’ the ass kickin’ she so richly deserves”.

Aren’t they cute already, Dogs on Trucks Jr. Sama?

In accordance with the advice I have received from healers I have given up seafood, naughty goat meat, Nicotiana tabacum, alcohol, corn, and all my encampment deeds in foreign territories, since they provided me with the temptation to access polluted, high-risk lands.

I must confess, however, that before I learned that I was pregnant, I consumed a bit of Mojo Farms naughty goat meat. Although I am praying that this will not have a negative outcome on the girls’ birth, sometimes I have upsetting dreams about my young ones being born too soon, and too feisty, leading me to seek your sage advice.

Can you think of anything else our family might do to ensure that these daughters will grow up to be good girls who will do our Nation proud from the moment they enter our realm?

Thanks very much for your time and consideration. Hope you and your family enjoy a wonderful harvest season.

Sincerely,

Azusa Shouseki

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posted by dogs on trucks jr. @ 5:23 AM